"Not the way it seems"

Having had MS for many years but was not diagnosed till 2012 ,you become adjusted to your life changes and symptoms and mostly your triggers. When i say triggers i mean things that trigger my MS symptoms. For me this took a few years to realise what those triggers are and getting all the information regarding MS. To me this has helped enormously .I can avoid certain triggers most of the time, and if i can't avoid them i know what caused them. This helps with my everyday life although sometimes i ignore them (yes i am stubborn) and end up suffering the consequences of doing so.

 Now this didn't come naturally ,like i said it took me years and i am still learning as i struggle along the way. You could also say i have mastered this skill quite well as some people think my MS is not doing too bad these days. obviously I've fooled them because its the opposite. I would say i have more symptoms as the years go on , but i know how to live with them or in other words hide them really well. I have also learned to not say anything and i find this skill really hard. It becomes such a lonely disease.  Not saying anything or seeing anything is tuff. People think you are fine and assume you are not sick because you look fine. Not talking about it is difficult and often when you do talk about it people do not want to hear. I understand you don't want to hear about it but when you ask "how are you?" are you really asking or just being polite??

 Then there are those that don't want to hear it because it hurts. Sure i can understand this as some see their loved ones maybe everyday and see their struggles on a daily basis. This is hard for them but also for us. We do our best to hide our struggles but some days are just too hard and we want to get things of our chest a little bit. We sometimes just want a listening ear that is all.

So i really just have adapted to my MS and when you say "you seem to being doing fine"well......let me tell you i am not. I am just better at hiding them from you.

Hey i can even fool my doctor and neurologist!! How good am i????
Am i alone on this???

Best,
Mascha :)