The Silence of MS

We all know MS is invisible and oh boy can that be frustrating at times. We all know the phrases of "but you look so good"or you don't seem sick". How i hate these comments so much. Although it may not be said on purpose,it still makes it annoying. I suppose we all look good because generally most of us live a healthy life,healthy diet etc,or we are just all so gorgeous?? Whatever the reason is,it's frustrating and wish people would understand by looking good we still feel bad. My doctor even said "but you look so good" and the worst part of this,is he knows i have MS. In fact he treats me for my MS symptoms.

 Then there is the silence in our heads. Well maybe not for everyone who has MS but for me certainly. Silence i don't mean peaceful,content and calm. I mean silence of not saying anything about how we feel or the pain that we are in. We do not always want to tell someone we are in pain,although my husband can see it without me saying anything. The silence of worrying. Worrying about our MS symptoms or our yearly MRI that is due. Worrying about our next day,will i be able to function or am i succumbed on my sofa due to fatigue.

 There's a lot of stress involved with MS,and the worst part of this is that stress triggers our MS symptoms to worsen. Although everyday life stress you cannot avoid,but on top we worry about our illness. I suppose for me i worry more when my MS symptoms are bad and stuck at home not able to do my daily tasks. This stresses me out because i think "what will tomorrow bring". But we cannot control MS,and we have good days and bad days.

Another silence issue is psychology issues. Our moods change day to day because of our chemical in balance  as a result of damage to our nerves in our brain.The reasons some of our  symptoms are depression,anxiety,confusion,understanding or following instructions. Sometimes these are made worse or better by medication.
 Of course foggy minded,foggy brain is also another MS symptom and can be very frustrating.

 I found myself yesterday in a public toilet. I know why would i mention this? The toilet really? I went shopping beforehand and needed to go,okay. The problem was after i was done,i couldn't find the exit. It wasn't a big toilet block but for some reason i could not find that exit. This was not me being blonde (although i can be)but this was confusion and my brain going blank. It's awful but i know it's another symptom of MS. Thank god it does not happen too often. I had to ask the lady who was in there,where the exist was. She looked at me a bit like "really?? I told her i have MS and i can get confused. Her response was very lovely and said"oh it can get confusing with these mirrors". What a nice lady.

These are our silence battles we battle everyday. No one can see them because we are in silence,we are invisible and we try to carry on our daily life as normal as we can. It's hard. We need some empathy from the people around us. The ones that do,we are so thankful for you having empathy and it all makes our battle with MS so much easier .

To my MS readers,i hope you receive a lot of empathy and love from the ones around you.
Please follow my blog if you enjoy my writing :)

Best
Mas.