Life with MS can be challenging and also very frustrating.
I have often gone to bed feeling okay and kind of planning what i will do the next day. I never plan fully because i know that due to my MS i can never count on it 100%. Saying this it can still catch me by surprise. Before i realise it, i am at home all day and out of order. I just don't feel well enough to do those errands or the things i had planned that day. When i say not well i mean really not well to leave the house. I never truly feel well with MS so i march on anyway, but depending on what sort of symptoms arise that will get me to stay home.
Today is one of those days. I know venturing out would just make matters worse and most likely aggravate my symptom or symptoms. I usually know what is best for these particular symptoms but that doesn't mean i don't get frustrated. So many things to do but yet your body just says No, today is not the day.
It is not only me that gets frustrated but people that often don't understand can get frustrated too. I often think the people around us think we don't want to do something because we don't feel like doing something or maybe look lazy. the thing is MS is invisible and unless you ask what is wrong with us, you might be able to understand a little of what is wrong. I say a little because no amount of explaining will you ever understand fully unless you have MS yourself.
This can lead to frustration for both parties involved. The one with MS feels useless, not worthy and a lot of guilt on top. This leads to stress, and to make matters worse stress leads to causing symptoms in MS. Stress is a trigger for MS.
So what to do............... there is nothing we can do about any of this. The only thing we can hope for is that tomorrow is a better day. Stressing about it makes matters worse and only cause more guilt.
Life with MS is complicated and the more awareness there is the more understanding from others.
I had another little trigger yesterday as well, and maybe that led to today not feeling well? I was doing my thing and suddenly out of the blue felt sick. Now this is not unusual for me as it happens often. The thing is that it happens so quickly and random. Anyway i ended up sitting down for a bit and then carried on. Today could just be a top up of yesterday or just for no reason because MS felt like it. MS is an unreliable disease and the more people understand this the less issues it can cause on them and on us.
I take it day by day :)
Best,
Mascha
