SSSSSHHHHH I have MS

 To be blunt,Multiple Sclerosis (MS)sucks!!!! Okay this is true but some days more then others. MS effects us all differently but most of us have good days or bad days. when these bad days come,it feels like they never end. I should count myself lucky to a degree,as my course of MS seems to be stable,but that doesn't mean i have no bad days. Having a bad  day i find myself stuck inside my apartment. This can be a good thing except i hate it. The feeling of not able to venture out and do your tasks or the fun things,like shopping for me.The feeling i get with this is not feeling useful. For example today............ i need to do a big food shop,but i know it will exhaust me today and leave me worse off.

 The positive to having a good day is mostly having no pain for me and almost feeling normal. As a result to feeling almost normal,i over do whatever i am doing. the bad result is paying for it the next day. As they say "paying the price of your good day".

 Now i can live with these good days or bad days,but what i really find hard is hiding my MS. Sure we do not want to tell every person we have contact with but for friends and family that know you have MS,i find it difficult to hush it away. As this illness is already invisible and then to sssshhhh don't want to hear about your MS (the look on their faces too) has me pretty much in silent tears.
 Dealing with this monster can be very isolating in itself. Having people around you that cannot or don't want to talk about it,can feel very sad and lonely. Sure i understand that they don't want to discuss MS every second or everyday and i do my best not to brag about it. But there are some days that i just need to get it off my chest and just a listening ear.
 Sometimes i find that telling my loved one a certain problem or pain issue, that i am just stressed about it and by telling him i almost feel relieved.

 Another good point to note is that there are millions of MS sites we can join or visit. They certainly help me a lot. Mind you it's very important to find the right ones,as some are not very helpful. I have my favourites and they are great for asking questions or just to have  contact with other people that have MS and have a better understanding.
 There is plenty of help or information regarding MS and i always find myself getting drawn to these sites when in need. I think trying to find the right balance is the way to do it.

 All the best to my warriors ,
Mascha