Our own nightmares .......

It's time to hit your bed as usual. We do our usual routine of preparing to hit the hay so to speak. For me it involves switching off all the lights, putting my dog's basket in our bedroom and heading to the kitchen to get my milk. Every night the same. I like my routine and as always turn on the TV to watch some episodes of comedy.

 And then when you are all settled and start getting tired, BANG!! Your right side (me that is) has become all numb. My l leg has become numb including my right arm and hand. To top it off my right side of my face has become numb too. This numbness can hurt and it's definitely not comfortable.
 Now this is nothing new to me, it does happen more often then not, but tonight is different. The intensity of my numbness was enough to give me nightmares before falling asleep.
 The anxious thoughts that hit the moment my head hits the pillow has occurred on many occasions before. How will i be waking up the next morning? will my right side still be numb and will i be unable to walk? Will it get worse? The many questions that deem in our heads.

 So now my own nightmare has begun, the anxiety of my own MS. The unknown monster inside of our own head.
 Every little sound is ticking away in my head while my numbness of my arm and hand try to rest calmly under my pillow, which i cannot feel. My leg that is rubbing against my sheets and actually causing pain by rubbing against it. Who would have thought that numbness can hurt.
 Looking at my phone and seeing it's now 2.30 AM and i am still awake . If only this craziness of numbness would go away, or at least by tomorrow morning.

 Out of fear i shut up in my head and lie there still hoping this will pass. Yes fear can be a real issue with MS and more so at bedtime. Because MS is so unpredictable we never know what will happen. Will i be able to wake up and walk or even see?? These things can happen with MS and they are pretty scary.
 I have woken up with my vision lost in one eye due to MS, and it's not surprising my anxiety when something is wrong when i hit the sack so to speak.

 Numbness is a very common symptom of MS. For me some things trigger it a little more, for example heat triggers my numbness.

 Numbness can also cause a lot more problems then some people would understand. It's not just numb and that's it. I cannot write properly due to the numbness in my hand . Having my bad side like my hand under a tap of water hot or cold makes it hard to feel if it's hot or cold. In the kitchen having to cut bread or anything makes it very difficult when your hand and arm is numb.

Tonight is another night..... and i am still numb on my right side. The good news is that it has not become worse. In fact it's the same. Annoying but i am  sure tonight i will just sleep.
 I have adjusted to my fear and .........ZZZZZZZ Night Night.

Best
Mas x